by Sabrina Giancioppi

“Self-help” has become a popular motto in the last decade that has sparked thousands of books to emerge advising us on how to improve our lives economically, intellectually, and emotionally. Let’s face it; we can always use a little know-how or positive thinking from published professionals. But with all this “self-help” advice around, I can’t help ask myself: “when did living become so difficult?”

Self-help books can sometimes be stereotyped as corny psycho-babble books that cater only to middle aged women. However, self-help and self-improvement books suggest that there are loads of issues like self esteem, anger, anxiety, stress, time management, marriage, love, relationships, family, and happiness that we all deal with on a day-to-day basis. I, myself was always a little hesitant to pick up a “self-help” book because I was skeptical of the information, assuming it to be a little ridiculous and redundant. I was not impressed! Even the hype built up around Rhonda Byrne’s The Secret or Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now could not get me to pick up a copy.

All this changed when I was introduced to Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom. Having sold almost 4 million copies, been featured on Oprah, and been on the New York Times Bestsellers list for four years, this tiny little book packs quite a punch. Based on ancient Toltec wisdom, the book offers four agreements that are simple and can transform our lives into a new experience of effectiveness, balance and self-supporting behaviour.

The four agreements are:

1. BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

2. DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

3. DON’T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best and you will avoid self-judgement, self-abuse, and regret.

The following is a review written on Accomplishlife.com by Mark Machaalani which I truly agree with, “The agreements themselves may indeed seem basic and some what common knowledge, yet it is the way that Miguel energetically conveys to us the meanings behind these agreements, which is indeed outstanding. He is able to transform four basic concepts of life into a foundation on which we should build upon in search of happiness. It’s the how and why one should do these things that make The Four Agreements worth reading and remembering.” 

The next time you find yourself at a bookstore, pick up a copy of Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements, I promise it will change your perspective on self-help books, and on life.

Sabrina Giancioppi
Concordia University Student
Findsalonspa.com Blogger